(272) MELLOW MONDAY
Vladimir Putin has entered the World Yodeling Championship to be held on Thanksgiving Day in Nashville, Tennessee. I have a few complimentary tickets left if anyone is interested.
* * *
In 1984, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the Olympics in the 100-meters, Ben Johnson was third. In 1988, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the 100-meters. Ben Johnson finished first, but was disqualified, and Lewis, who was second, moved up to first place. Johnson had an illegal substance in his system. In the last three weeks, someone mentioned that maybe, perhaps, could be, that Lewis was using a performance-enhancing drug that could not be detected. First, if he was using a performance-enhancing drug, it didn't help his singing career. And, in the world-according-to-Don, who cares? If he was on a skateboard with a sail, there would be something to complain about, otherwise--shut up--we all need to enhance our performances from time to time.
I read in the Better Brain book that by taking acetyl-L-carnetine, my memory would improve in eight weeks. I have been using it for eight weeks, and it has improved my memory, however, there are some scary side effects. My shlong keeps getting bigger. My doctor has no idea how long the growth cycle will continue and has cautioned that I may soon be dragging around a fire hose. Be careful of the supplements you are taking--there may be some undesirable side effects.
* * *
My friend Peter asked, "Who are Jon and Kate?" That is strong evidence that he's not up to speed on significant current events.
* * *
In my last epistle, I'm not sure I clearly made my point. The point being: it is my desire that we (the USA) do not exceed the number of years the Mongol hoards were at war. We could stop now and have 200 years to spare.
Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your arbiter of culture
* * *
In 1984, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the Olympics in the 100-meters, Ben Johnson was third. In 1988, Carl Lewis won a gold medal in the 100-meters. Ben Johnson finished first, but was disqualified, and Lewis, who was second, moved up to first place. Johnson had an illegal substance in his system. In the last three weeks, someone mentioned that maybe, perhaps, could be, that Lewis was using a performance-enhancing drug that could not be detected. First, if he was using a performance-enhancing drug, it didn't help his singing career. And, in the world-according-to-Don, who cares? If he was on a skateboard with a sail, there would be something to complain about, otherwise--shut up--we all need to enhance our performances from time to time.
I read in the Better Brain book that by taking acetyl-L-carnetine, my memory would improve in eight weeks. I have been using it for eight weeks, and it has improved my memory, however, there are some scary side effects. My shlong keeps getting bigger. My doctor has no idea how long the growth cycle will continue and has cautioned that I may soon be dragging around a fire hose. Be careful of the supplements you are taking--there may be some undesirable side effects.
* * *
My friend Peter asked, "Who are Jon and Kate?" That is strong evidence that he's not up to speed on significant current events.
* * *
In my last epistle, I'm not sure I clearly made my point. The point being: it is my desire that we (the USA) do not exceed the number of years the Mongol hoards were at war. We could stop now and have 200 years to spare.
Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your arbiter of culture
posted by Donald Heavrin at 3:43 PM
1 Comments:
That was seriously the funniest blog posting I have ever read. I laughed out loud at work! Great post!
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