(423) NUTCASE A LA MODE

A nutcase wrote a ‘blog that was forwarded to me by a friend. The nutcase whined about Hurricane Irene being used to punish people in New York because they have authorized gay marriages. According to the nutcase, God does not like gays and the Hurricane was just a warning about what was to come. He further opined this is just a prelude to more destruction. It is for certain that more destructive events will occur in the United States as time goes by. I wonder if he is going to equate all future natural disasters with gay marriage. This is much like the evangelical reaction to Katrina. The fruit-loops of the world crawled out of the woodwork to claim the difficulty in New Orleans was caused because the United States tolerates gays. I was wondering what the Japanese did to cause their Earthquake. If this barf-bag could do critical thinking, he would ask, ‘What caused hurricanes before New York authorized gay marriage?’ And what about the states that have not authorized gay marriage? Why does God take his wrath out on North Carolina, Virginia, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Vermont, or have all of those states authorized gay marriage, or is God a lousy shot? In order to make sure he got New York, he had to take out several states along the way and several states that are north of New York.

The fruitcake uses as authority a passage from Leviticus. Anybody that puts any credence in Leviticus should be locked up. I wonder what he thinks about the passage that states that if a man marries a woman and discovers that she is not a virgin, he can drag her outside and have other men stone her to death. Fruitcakes are most dangerous when they are relying on biblical authority.

*****

A friend called to tell me that the second-in-command in Al-Qaeda was killed. I turned on the television news expecting to hear about our latest victory in the ‘war on terror’. The newscast, on three network stations, said nothing about an Al-Qaeda leader being killed. Instead, I got multiple warnings about the danger of hurricanes. I switched to Fox News—same thing, no mention of the Al-Qaeda leader being killed. In the face of the oncoming Hurricane, I can understand why the coverage would focus on the storm, but a small block of time should have been given to the reported killing. Finally, the next day, the local paper carried a small story about the death of the terrorist. And, what is happening in the three wars we are fighting? The only war report that we have been getting is the grim statistics of how many people were killed by a suicide bomber.

*****

I had an unusual experience today. Years ago, I represented a fellow, let’s call him Tom, who was accused of having a friend of his ship hashish from Turkey. The hashish arrived at a house where no one was living. The mailman stuffed the hashish in the box and the authorities staked-out the residence. Soon, Tom slipped around, landed on the porch, and removed the hashish from the mailbox—whereupon, the authorities descended upon him and locked him up. He then confessed of robbing the mail. Ironies abound. This was back in the day before the terminally-fearful started controlling our lives. In response to his arrest, Tom confessed to robbing the mail, which was a greater offense in those days than possession and transportation of hashish. I had to, first, get the mail robbery confession set aside so he could confess to the hashish charge.

Respectfully submitted,
Donald M. Heavrin,
Your confused servant in the Garden of Life